Film: TDKR

I couldn’t find the poster I liked. But this one will definitely do.

So Tom Hardy’s accent does not sound fake in this. In fact, I cannot place what it sounds. It was, like, Russian, with a tinge of Middle Easter clipped English slathered with British influences. I dunno what the hell was going on lol.

Wow. So I have been waiting for this movie (for what feels like all my life. I kid. Ok, I don’t. No really, I do. I HAVE a life…outside of Twitter. *cough* And I have waited until hopefully you have all watched the movie so the spoilers will not be shocking. If you haven’t, please do not read this. I have told you. You have been warned. Do not proceed beyond this point. Go to Jail. Go directly to jail. Do not pass GO. Do not collect 200.

I loved the cast. Bane was excellent. For once I liked Christian Bale (usually I cannot stand the man…even in the other Batmans. Have you seen his lips? Of COURSE he is Batman. And I hate hate hate that voice. I really do. Whatever happened to precedent? To nobility? To honour? *sigh*). I love and have always loved Anne Hathaway. I don’t know why people underestimate her (probs because they have only seen sijui Princess Diaries sijui Love Sex and Other Drugs -speaking of, is Ryan Gosling pulling a Katherine Heigl and typecasting himself left right and centre? Though I thought Crazy Stupid Love was hilARIOUSly fantastic. Steve Carrell really has grown on me- and still judje her as a confused reluctant pre-teen queen, far from which she is). She was an excellent Catwoman, I must say. The conflict is her character was readily apparent, her skills were incomparable, etc, etc -fun factoid, her stunt double crashed the BatBike into an IMAX camera. Those cost FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND. DOLLARS. I WOULD QUIT LIFE LOL. Ok, no. But I would quit SOMETHING. Like sugar…which was making me so amped up that I couldn’t hit the brakes. Yooooo.-. Marion what’s-her-face was great too. I did NOT see that coming (though apparently I was the only one). I love me some Joseph Gordon Levitt! (3 folks from Inception. Mhm. I feel I have spelled his name wrong. Have I? I don’t feel like googling. I feel there’s a hyphen lurking about there somewhere) I’m UBER excited that he is going to be Robin. I do wonder which Robin they will make him; the flamboyant and oh-so-amusing Dick Grayson or the murderous (and murdered) Jason Todd or the third one I never remember? I want him to stick around, so I vote Nightwing. Duh. Alfred, as usual. Morgan Freeman, who in spite of dating sijui his stepdaughter is still fantastic on screen. Primitive energy?…I loved that they threw in Scarecrow in the middle of that movie, pahahahaha. I always like the cop dude (wow, I AM bad with names)…I need to relax with the cast, neh? They were perfectly picked, each and every one.

What the hell was that Batmobile? Are you freaking KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW???? I am sure anyone who has gotten to this point in the review, haaaaa, has seen what the old Batmobile used to look like. A sleek, fitting representation of the absolute COOLNESS that is Batman. They even ACTUALLY MADE THE CAR. I swallowed my rage when they made it that big war tanker thing in these new ones, but when they changed the shape of the jet…ah, it was too much. Yawa! You expect me to believe that that thing was the best aerodynamic design that they could…ah ah. Zi. Do. I’ve refused. Halafu the bike was great, but goes into a corner or whatever…and comes out a bike. Where’s the excitement? Where’s the PIZZAZZ!??? CHRIS…YOU’RE KILLING ME HERE…

I hated the plot. Honestly, I think this fella was lazy. He pulled a Michael Bay (oh, I have three movies to make, so one of them can be crap because I know they’re going to pay me anyway) I think it was low to just redo Batman Begins (oh, pit, oh, becoming stronger, overcoming, blabla) at that bit. I thought it was farfetched. (when the cops went underground, I was lost. I was DONE.) I was TEXTING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MOVIE LIKE A FREAKIN NOOB. (also, did you believe how quick his recovery was? No? Me neither.) I was so detached after that point, I didn’t even cry when Batman died. ME. WHOSE FAVOURITE SUPERHERO HAS BEEN BATMAN SINCE I WAS 5. LIKE, WHEN MICHAEL KEATON WAS STILL BATMAN AND THERE WERE ONLY LIKE 2 MOVIES OUT. TWO CATWOMANS AGO!! *tries to calm down* As in, the only reason I wanted to cry in the middle of the movie was because I thought I was in danger of becoming a Marvel girl (juu mimi ni dame wa DC, DAMU), because…yup…I enjoyed Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes more. I, TOO, WAS SHOCKED. I will not mention what other movie this year I also enjoyed more, for reasons best known to my mental well-being and peace of mind. Suffice it to say, Marvel is kicking DC’s butt this year.

I’m sorry, y’all. I really wanted to do a glowing tribute, but…well, there you have it. I don’t know if I can even rate it. *sigh* The cast was excellent. So I guess. A 3 out of 5. Because. You know. It’s Batman. It can’t get the same as sijui…Warrior.

*breaks down*


17 thoughts on “Film: TDKR

  1. I kinda feel you on some of your points. The movie wasn't as good as we'd expected but Nolan has set the bar so high that even his failing is a movie better than most…and whoever says they saw the twist with Marion coming on is a dirty dirty liar…and yeah, the plot was all over the place. And Bane was a weak bad guy. In his heyday, batman would have made mincemeat of the guy. Joker would have made him his b*tch even.

    Here's where I disagree. The batmobile was frigging awesome. Did you see how it was making corners. Like Transformers! (In a good way. Transformers movies are shit). I'm not sure about the comment on batman dying. Bruce Wayne didn't die. Batman died but the message he kept trying to ram home was that anyone could be batman even if the current batman (Bruce Wayne) died. But Bruce Wayne didn't die. No way!

    But don't despair for DC yet. The Man of Steel trailer is awesome.

    Alternative Title to TDKR
    1. Batman and the amazing upside down helicopter.

  2. 2. A Sad, Plotless, Nolan Engineered Batman movie. Neh?

    3. The Adventures of Police and the story of the bomb…ok now I am just trying too hard.

    I loved Bane. Disagree there.

    I have no faith in MOS. But only on principle. Superman is my least favourite superhero.

  3. Noooooo Noooo you cannot do this…. you cannot ruin batman like this. yes he has a spine healed a bit fast but then he is batman come on. as in Bale doesnt have great lips but then they arent the worst. Okay I agree the batmobile was a flop compared to his cool toys…..but you give Anna props…fake catwalk…jeez but she hacked!

  4. Ok..I give you that superman films have been kinda sucky but check out the teaser for the upcoming MOS. Superman is kinda hard to root for coz you have to move universes to get him a supervillain that can threaten him….hopefully they'll have some nice bad guys from Krypton (yes, yes, already done to death) or bring in Darkseid or Doomsday…but I think they're going with General Zod. Anyways, I live in hope.

  5. Superman is annoying because he cannot possibly exist. To me, anyway. Hence my love for the Marvel Batman, Iron Man. I have seen the trailer…it DOES look good…I cannot even hazard a guess who they'll show up with…

  6. Great review. This film had me from start to finish and never let me go. It was the near-perfect thrill-ride I needed from this last part of the trilogy to be and only Christopher Nolan could deliver on that. I'm going to miss him directing another Batman film, but at least he can now go off and do some other crazy, original flicks.

  7. Nolans view of batman is more military and utility as opposed to sleek and cool. The new batmobile and the bat were designed like military vehicles (because that's what they were plotwise)and really, the only reasonable way for someone to gett heir hands on a super car….and did you just compare them to the old batmobile. Yaani the one that climbed a wall…i dont even have words. CREDIBILITY LOST 😀

    His 5 month recover was too quick?
    There's a terrorist organization they know is hiding underground that just threatened to blow gotham to the sky, as far as motivation to underground goes, that seems reasonable. By superhero movie standards. It makes more sense than half the reasons anyone did anything in avengers (which i love but in the end, all movies will rely on stupid decisions like those which look even more stupid because the viewer has all the facts and the characters do not)

    so…SILENCE YOUR NOLAN BLASPHEMY or there shall be hell to pay 😀

    also, your a DC person. Youre the enemy. The only (mainstream) DC franchise you're allowed to like is batman.

  8. The back break part was abit weak, truth be told. Not that I wasn't expecting it this being a Bane film but come on. Bats has his back broken. Then he's jailed in a wellhole (he he he). Then he's treated using 294BC medical practices. Then he does physio using ropes hung from his cell. Then he's healed. Ai! Then newly healed bats who has been out of commission for 8 years goes head to head with Baneyboy who's like the personification of unholy beatdowns and gives as good as he gets. Ai!! And bats has been walking using a cane since lord knows when and the doctor says something about his cartilage being jiggery and whatnot but he puts on a whatchamacallit on his knee and he's kicking holes on the wall. Ai!!!

    Coz bats is supposed to be realistic. Superman is an alien who's susceptible to uchawi. So alot goes. Avengers comprise of a dude in a tin suit that can fly. A guy who gets weight issues when he gets miffed. An alien with a magic hammer. A girl who…uhmm strutted around in a tight suit which I loved. A jamaa who runs around with bows and arrows. And led by a guy who was frozen in 1945 and goes to fights with a shield. The disbelief we suspend is….wow…but with bats, he's a normal jamaa so some toys so…we'll criticise this.

  9. You're getting abit scarce luv, what's the deal. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that but to quote tsn CAMAAAAAAAN!

  10. LOL.

    I am not sure if I should just start another post for commentary?…

    I am the enemy. Lol.

    I agree with the realism. I retract my former statement. Thank you for making me see the light…teehee. But Bats is more likely than the Kryptonian, no?…HEY! HEY! HEY!!! ScarJo was a fighting machine with mad psychological prowess! WE!

  11. Ok, yeah. Black widow was one scary mutha…with balls like basketballs. Facing russian bad guys, walking up to Banner, beating up Hawkeye, psyching out Loki, dandiaring alien flying motorcycles. Yeah, she pulled her weight and then some…I stand corrected.

    P.S – It's somewhere in the contract that if you take a vacation you let us know, no?

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