This review may have spoilers. I haven’t decided yet. I will warn you when I do.
I am easily convinced to go see movies, especially those that have a hullabaloo preceding them. (ah, marketers. I AM your number one sucker.) So I went over to Sarit (an old and achingly familiar haunt) to see if Prometheus was showing, and then was persuaded to go watch it on Imax (which I am still feeling ambivalent about. But AnyHUE.).
What they DON’T tell you in the little trailers and posters thingies is that THIS MOVIE IS A PREQUEL TO ALIENS. (and the whole Alien, Alien vs. Predator, Alien vs. Predator 2 franchise) I am not a chick of horror movies. The last horror I watched was The Red Dragon (again, through much persuasion) and I was THE ONLY ONE SCREAMING IN THE CINEMA. INTO MY BUNCHED UP SCARF. My threshold for blood and gore is at about negative 27 million (which, haha, is how many dalladalladallas Prometheus made on the first day of it’s release. Today is Day 3.) unless, of course, it’s the pleasant, handsome kind (a la Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street or I am Legend. YES, that is my version of horror. Did you SEE Those dogs? Eish. I was hukuz watching through two fingers, yawa tho.). NO ONE PREPARED ME FOR THIS. I have never and will never go near a Saw/Machete/The Exorcist of someone or the other, EVER. This stems from watching Silence of the Lambs when I was 6 (I really do not know, to this day, how this was allowed to happen, but it is probs the reason why my boy A-Hop is my favourite villain of all time). My life has never been the same. cue haunting music (second time I have used the word haunt in one post. Hm.)
Ok, no spoilers.
So Prometheus is a bunch of scientists who are looking for the origin of man and so go to an alien planet in the year 2089, I believe, because that is where they think they will find teren answers. And they find something, all right. It probably won’t be as scary if you’re male (which is why you should TOTES take your girlfriend), but for me…eish. There’s aliens (kwanza there’s one…he). Obviously. There’re some things you won’t know/understand if you haven’t watched the other movies. The plot is a tad obvious. I could tell how some things were going to go, but not everything. That being said, the effects were really, really good!! I enjoyed that. I also enjoyed Noomi’s (chick from The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, which is a book everyone should read, and yeah, we are on a first name basis) performance, as well as Michael Fassbender’s (Magneto from XMen: First Class), Charlize Theron’s and Idris Elba’s (I really need to start watching The Wire). There were a couple of characters whom I thought were irrelevant, though. shrugs You’ll see.
I give it, like, a 3 and a half out of 5. I am sorry if that is blasphemous, for all a y’all Alien/Arnold Schwarzenegger fans, but frankly, my dear,…
p.s. There’s probs going to be another post today.