Being an adult

I don’t think I am going to pay my rent next month.

While it is easy to presume that not everyone can be stupid, it is careful to realize that underestimating people’s stupidity often causes blood pressure.

Like my landlady.

So, I move into this house, tres excited about moving on up from a studio, and the first day I sat on the toilet seat (you know it all comes back to the bathroom with me) it breaks. As does the one in the other bathroom. And no, it wasn’t fries. I promptly lodge a complaint. The landlady assures the caretaker who assures me that there will be a new seat in next week.

It’s been 2 months.

Every time I talk to the caretaker, he says he has been talking to her/they came but were not enough/it’s coming in next week. This may be naive of me, but I like the caretaker. So I don’t think he’s lying. And I have gone through some pretty douchebaggy caretakers in my tenant life (which, with any luck, won’t last for too long, and then I WILL buy by own damn toilet seat), so I am giving him the benefit of the doubt.

I have asked for her email address. She refuses to give it out. (Oh look! Douchebaggery!)

If she’s not living up to her end of the bargain, why should I? Accept and move on my unsheltered-from-the-bowl ass.

I’ve been weighing the pros and cons of the situation. I am not the only neighbour she is shitting on (everywhere must be littered with loolike references). We could stage a protest (in the form of rent, or TPing…something). Then she could kick me out. Then I could sue her, and NEVER HAVE TO WORK AGAIN! WIN ALL THE LAWSUITS!!

I feel like it’s a plan.


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