Film: Gangster Squad, Jack Reacher and Can’t Buy Me Love


I think Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone could be the Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks of our generation, and it is something that I am, really, excited about, goush. (Although I have heard rumours that she is with Andrew Garfield, who I love too, so…how’s a girl to choose?) Once again (after Crazy Stupid Love, which was oodles funnier than I thought it would be) they team up in this raw old school cop movie, which stars Josh Brolin (I was really waiting to see what he was going to do after Men In Black 3) and Sean Penn (flawless) and a really cute black guy who I have never seen called Andrew Markie (ask me no questions, I tell you no lies). Gangs, shootings, brilliance. A strong 3 and a half. (tip: don’t watch it after watching Django – any QT movie, really – or right before you sleep, if you’re sleeping alone. It’s a smidge gory, a smidge scary.)

I loved it! It watched like an old detective novel, straightforward, no frills, no machines, no fancy schmancy Mission Impossible-y (see what I did there?) effects. (Maybe you do not know what I did here because you do not know Tom Cruise is in it. if you did not look at the poster). Ex Army in classic whodunit story. Gets a 3, but only because the heroine was so useless, and if we don’t make a heroine, who will? (DETTOL WILL. DETTOL CAN DO ANYTHING.)

And now to end with a classic not-cop movie: Can’t Buy Me Love. Ah, folks, they don’t make things like they used to. Not movies, not music, not Mint chocs, not free and fair elections – and not Patrick Dempsey (ie hot movie stars who were child actors and didn’t have to go to rehab. Botox, we can take.), who stars in this when her was a young tot (20ish). This is a 1987 teen cult classic, a la Clueless (LOVE) and She’s All That (like, but oh my, Freddie Prinze Jr.!) set up when a geek buys a girlfriend in a quest for popularity, and discovers that popularity…come on. Finish the sentence. We all did 8-4-4. We are all chock full of cliches. No? Not all? Ok, fine. ‘…is not all it’s cut out to be.’ I enjoyed it, but let me tell you, when McDreamy Jr. came on and I was looking at the billing as I watched, and it said Patrick Dempsey, I was like, I know that name, I know it, I know it…and I had to click on the link to his name to remember. Ei, watu wametoka mbali. Also, whatever happened to Amanda Peterson? It gets a 5. Come on. It’s a classic.

Buy me looove…money can’t buy me love…


P.S. R.I.P., Lou Meyers. You made up a great many fond memories of my childhood.

4 thoughts on “Film: Gangster Squad, Jack Reacher and Can’t Buy Me Love

  1. Why are we reviewing movies made in the dark ages? According to my highly made up scientific research, 83.7% of Kenyans can't remember lunch yesterday. 1987 is like 2million BC…but I bet it would be fun to watch just for archeological kicks. The 80s were so……frigging insane!!!!

  2. I make no promise to looking for 80s romcoms. Coz I'm trying to convince the world of my sexual orientation. Not that I'm not sure what team I play for, it's just that….the weird stuff never stops. Like last time, a dude grabbing my junk on a dancefloor. And then acted drunk and hurried away when I glared at him. I should have punched him in the head but not hitting him was a calculated move. In the swinging of arms and entanglement of limbs that's usually part and parcel of fisticuffs, what if the degenerate had kissed me. So I'll just take your word for it. It's a good movie that was made 200years ago.

    Now lets talk about manly stuff. Like how awesome season2 of American Horror Story is.

    Hi tsn. :-/

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