Film: Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice

Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice wasn’t absolute shite.

I don’t know if that’s what DC/Marvel fans want to hear, but it is what it is. In fact, on an overall rating, I’d give it about a 6, 6 and a half out of 10. It inspired in me the same feeling Spectre did last year – that feeling you get when a movie is over but you feel like they could have done so much more? That feeling. From the convoluted dream sequences (the eff was Flash coming back from the future or wherever for?) to the weak romance and annoying damsel in distress syndrome Lois had (I’m over Amy Adams at this point) to the fact that it was very long and very loud…nah, man. Nah.

I have long been hesitant to review the filmĀ Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice (hereafter referred to as Bats vs. Supes because that title is a sentenceful) for varied reasons; people’s attachment to the two men (men?) in it, both as actors and as superheroes (I did not like Man of Steel and Ben Affleck as Batman for most people is a stretch – ok I liked Daredevil. Sue me. But…I haven’t really liked a Batman since the animations/Val Kilmer. I know. Sue me.); various comic book fans loftily acting like if you love Deadpool, you can’t possibly endure the enigmatic nuances that Bats vs. Supes has (Batman is my favourite superhero. Prrreeeeetty sure I can handle a Darkseid. hehehehe); the all around meh reviews – many things. Until I decided to throw my hat in the ring.

What I loved: Lex! He could totally be another Joker. Although Jesse Eisenberg isn’t the ideal build for the black Mandingo that is Lex Luthor in my head, or even the youthful diablo of Michael Rosenbaum, he still made me forget that that was the Lex I wanted (someone on Facebook said he was an evil Zuckerberg ahahahahahahaha). He had the tics and everything down pat.

Wonder Woman pulled that shit off. I have said repeatedly that I have little to no faith in a Israeli supermodel playing an Amazonian warrior princess superhero but I was proved pleasantly wrong and also she’s really hot lol.

Alfred was cool.

The cinematography? For beautiful tears. The slow-mo sequences and 3D effects were startling in their clarity and a joy to watch. Please don’t torrent this. Cinemas in this country have this movie for 200. You owe it to those effects.

What I couldn’t stand: Super loud.

Preeeettty darn long.

Amy Adams as Lois Lane – officially over it.

Flashbacks that didn’t seamlessly come together, or maybe it’s because I haven’t read the comics. Ha.

I felt like the plot was a bit standard. I expected more from the script. And of course the plotholes – like the reason why Batman stopped trying to kill Superman (this isn’t a spoiler – it is in the trailer) and the unexplained conclusions/actions from unheard dialogue…

Didn’t like the monster either. Was expecting more – not in terms of looks, but, just, general badassery. Come on. DC villains lately have been totally letting me down. coughTheDarkKnightShouldHaveNeverRisenCough

I hated and loved the super obvious graceless segue into the introduction of the Justice League movie. Critical though I may be, I love superheroes and anything to do with Batman, I am secretly on board. Even with that nonsense guttural voice masking nonsense that he copied from Bane and still totally…anyway.

I hope they don’t fuck up Suicide Squad. I am already feeling iffy about Civil War and its battalion of heroes that I’m just like… o.0. Wangesema tu ni Avengers: Age of Civil War (also super nervous about the new Spidey but Marvel casting is generally on it, so…)

What did y’all think?