Pink roses in a clear vase

Taking Stock: January 2021

I guess people are still doing this whole Taking Stock thing, huh? I have never done one before, even though I would see Veon doing them often. Are they still cool? Am I cool? Am I uncool for asking this?

Anyhue. Welcome to my first Taking Stock ever, done at the beginning of the second (second??!!!) month of the year.

Making : MELODIES IN MY HEART. We’re off to a flying start.

Drinking: Water and tea, a lot, and gin, a lot. That hasn’t changed much.
Reading: …or rather, trying to read. I’ve read three books this year, and I’m technically supposed to be on my fifth (trying the ‘a book a week’ challenge again. I’ve only managed to do it once in my life, in a year that I was drinking the most. Is there a correlation?). Currently getting through Why I’m No Longer Talking To White People About Race by Reni Eddo-Lodge. Also, a Charlie Brown special gifted to me by my favourite model. Also, Ayobami Adebayo and Emmanual Iduma’s love letters to each other on Instagram. Whuuuuew! When you marry a writer!

Looking: like I always do when I’m at home, in a dera, uncombed hair, food beside me and my phone close by.

Playing: games with deadlines and the patriarchy.

Wasting: the best years of my life away with these fucking deadlines.

Sewing: What? Sentences? What in the?

Wishing: for a bit more clarity on whether I should bother wasting more time with these deadlines. Capitalism is a bitch. You’re born, lied to, you work, then you die. There’s gotta be more. (cue Stacie Oricco)

Enjoying: reruns of Girlfriends, Season 11 of Archer, sleep, flirting with men I can’t have

Waiting: for a paycheck to save me from myself

Liking: the people who answer my Instagram questions.

Wondering: if I’ll ever beat the system, namely, own a home and take care of the people I love without using sweatshops everywhere and exploiting minorities

Loving: this thing is long, eh?

Needing: cuddles

Smelling: like I haven’t showered, coz I haven’t. Also my roses are dying, so there’s that.

Wearing: we covered this.

Noticing: how tired I am lately and how unwilling I am to do anything outside of sleep. I lol jk but it’s true.

Knowing: that I may never do this Taking Stock thing again

Thinking: about all the things that I was supposed to do this morning, but I chose to have breakfast instead. Wait, none of these questions are about food?

Feeling: sleepy.

Opening: Netflix.

Oh haiya! The end!

Well then.

This is the year I am supposed to start journaling. After the trial run we’ve had in January, I think I can start now that the new year really has started. I also feel like I can make better Taking Stock questions lol. Like…smelling? Ai. Watch this space (she says like a writer who makes many promises and does very little to back them up).

On my mind, though, is the insistence on women to be glamourous and low maintenance at the same time – and also how many freaking applications I went through in January. More on that later.

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